What the Puck?

NASCAR is on ESPN2.

The NHL is on Versus.

(Stop. Re-read. Proceed...)

For those belonging to the 85% of the earth's population that doesn't know what Versus is, it is the cable network formerly known as Outdoor Life Network (OLN). OLN was bad. Except for the few weeks out of the year that they showed Lance pedalling himself into the hearts of Americans everywhere in the Tour de France. If OLN is bad, then I currently don't know an adjective strong enough to describe the Versus Network. Versus? Are they serious?

(The word "versus" only works in box scores when abbreviated "vs.". Outside of that, I abhor that word. Especially when its used as a gerund (an "ing" word). As in..."our team is versing that terrible team from Boise." WHAT?!? That's horrendous on so many levels.)

Versus is the hockey equivalent to the NFL Network, minus Rod Woodson, of course. Versus, like the NFL Network, is not available to even basic cable subscribers. I, for one, do not get Versus. Which, overall, is a good thing. Other than the fact that it is the only national channel that televises NHL games. As it stands, I am limited to web broadcasts of only about two handfuls of national games, and the Columbus Blue Jackets through regional Fox Sports Net coverage. And don't get me wrong, the Jackets are the best third-to-worst team the NHL has to offer, but I miss my Penguins, and the rest of the NHL.

The NHL needs to try and get a larger deal with NBC, who currently carries a few games on weekends now that the NFL is through, and/or a deal with ESPN or ESPN2. I need more of the sultry sounds of Gary Thorne and Bill Clement. I need more hockey. The United States needs more hockey.

Right now hockey is hardly even a mention in national sports programming. ESPN still employs Canada's own Barry Melrose. He and his mullet are on SportsCenter every once in awhile with a segment entitled "Barry's Best". An enjoyable segment, but entirely too short. Something needs to be done. I need more hockey. I need more mullet.

Stephen Colbert has done his part to bring back hockey. Stephen keeps tabs on the Saginaw Spirit of the Ontario Junior Hockey League and even their mascot, Stephen Colbeagle Eagle, bears his name and likeness. I understand that this obsession with the Spirit, like anything else with Stephen, is underwritten with an obscene amount of sarcasm, but nonetheless, it is positive exposure for hockey in this country.

The point is that Gary Bettman and the NHL need to work harder to get a deal with a network that has more national exposure than Versus. Hockey has expanded in the last decade with the addition of teams like the Predators, Wild and Blue Jackets. It is good that other cities around the country are being exposed to these new teams and enjoying their success. (Well, minus Columbus.) More cities are getting home teams, but less homes are seeing these teams.

Get the NHL on a national network that most homes have. NBC works. ESPN would do the trick. And if ESPN2 viewers get tired of grown men making left turns in fast cars then maybe the network can slide in some hockey.