Mr. Posh Spice

Now let's understand something. I am not, in any way, opposed to the arrival of Victoria Adams (the artist formerly known as Posh Spice) into the United States. It's her husband that I have a slight issue with.

Actually, I am not quite sure what to make of David Beckham and his transition to the worst that professional soccer has to offer. Between the Los Angeles Galaxy and endorsements, Beckham stands to make $250 million over 5 years. In other words, Beckham will make just a little less than $1 million dollars a week - even in the off season. There are two lingering questions: Is Mr. Beckham worth that obscene amount of money and will he really help jump start a league that was doomed from the start?

We'll start with the second question. This stunt, which is precisely what it is, has actually happened before with eerie similarities in the United States. The North American Soccer League (NASL) was struggling to gain a fan base in the United States in the early '70s. As a result, the New York Cosmos signed the Brazilian sensation and arguably the greatest soccer player ever, Pele'. Pele' signed in 1975 and retired two years later after a game in a sold out Giants' Stadium. Clearly at the time he was signed he was well past his prime, but he was still the best player in the league on one of the best teams. History lesson over.

Back to the now. The Beckham Signing will be a good thing for the L.A. Galaxy, Victoria and David, their three sons (Brooklyn, Romeo and Cruz - I know. I thought the same thing.), but what about the MLS? I think that history will repeat itself. Just as Pele' sold out stadiums in New York for two seasons, Beckham will do much of the same. But, can one player, on one team make a difference?

I don't think so. Yes, L.A. will sell out most games, and when they are on the road ticket sales will spike for the other teams as well. Beckham's celebrity status will, no doubt, fill the seats. Beckham will be the most celebrated immigrant since Elian Gonzalez. The only problem is that he might not be as helpful in filling the net. Beckham was (past tense, kids) the best soccer player in the world. He did not even start for his Real Madrid Club back in Europe, and he was recently relieved of his captain duties for the English National Team.

Don't get me wrong. Beckham is still an exceptional talent (although lazy at times), and has the deadliest right foot the world, and especially the U.S. has ever seen. The point is that he is good. That can't be argued. But he isn't the same player he used to be, and he is certainly not Pele'. If Pele' couldn't ultimately bring soccer to the U.S., then how can we expect Beckham to? No matter how good or bad he is, he will never bring soccer to the American public at large. Why? Because soccer is un-american. It really is that simple.

The American public will never embrace soccer because they are stubborn. There is not enough scoring and it is not entertaining enough for us. We like the colors red, white and blue. We like fast cars. We like the Superbowl. We like hot dogs and baseball. We like eagles. We like Steven Colbert. We like everything that is "American". But more than anything else, we like ourselves and our ability to think the way we want. America will never embrace soccer, because, above all else, we do not want to fit in with the rest of the world. We love our individualism and our isolation. It's sad, but true.

The only way that soccer stands a chance, and where Beckham may help, is in the media. Although it is not off to a good start. The story was all over the sports news this morning. I saw three different interviews with Mr. Beckham. (As a side note, Jason A. Lyon, my roommate, commented that Beckham sounded exactly like the Geico Gecko. Next time you see or hear an interview please close your eyes and imagine the voice saying "It's pie, and chips. For free.") In all of these interviews, and during all of this coverage, not once did anyone mention the fact that the MLS SuperDraft was being held today. That is exactly why I think Beckham will never help the league. Beckham is the story, and will continue to be; the league is not even an after thought. It's a no-thought.

But this is where we address the first question: Is he worth the money? The short answer: No. The only way the Galaxy and the endorsers will profit from this investment will be if the MLS gets a television contract. It's possible now more than before with Beckham, but an American media will be hesitant to do so because the public won't embrace soccer and tune in. The tricky part: the public won't embrace soccer unless they see it on TV, and probably not even then.

So, awesome. Beckham is playing in America. His reasons are clear. He wants to bring soccer, the sport he loves, to the last country that wants it brought to them. I'd rather watch Beckham than any of the no names currently playing the MLS, that is for sure. But more importantly I would much rather see Posh all over the tabloid news than the trashy trio of Brit, Paris and Lindsey.

I don't want David, but I definitely want Posh. That's what I want, what I really really want.