Great Scott

Recently, I was fortunate enough to sit down with Michael Scott, Regional Manager of Dunder-Mifflin Paper Company, at his offices in the Scranton Business Park to talk about running a business, working around a camera crew and balancing life outside of work.

[Point of Clarification: Michael Scott is a fictional character. Therefore, by definition, it is impossible to actually sit down and talk with him. But you could imagine what it would be like if I could...]

The interview starts off with my security escort, Hank, walking me up to the Dunder-Mifflin offices per Michael's request. Apparently he caught Almost Famous on Showtime last night as well and considers me the "enemy."

After the forth time Michael calls me the "enemy" I get introduced to everyone in the office all at once. I receive the obligitory half-wave/mumble from everyone and half a song from Mr. Andrew Bernard to the tune of what I'm pretty sure was Sister Sledge's "We are Family." In an odd but predictable moment, Dwight Schrute asks to see my credentials and asks for references. Good thing I've seen the documentary before and came prepared.

I get into Michael's office and he immediately draws the blinds so we can't see out and no one can see in.

Easy Street: Is that so we don't distract your employees?

Michael Scott: Them? No. It's so they don't distract me. We got a real fun office out there. I've tried to create a fun culture. Employees only have fun if their boss has fun, and my fun-ness just seems to be contagious around here. We have fun.

This is just a precaution. If they break out into some sort of game or sing along I wouldn't be able to sit in here and talk to you. I'd have to be in on it. Trust me. It's better this way.

ES: Ok, let's start out with something simple so you can get an idea of where this is headed.

MS: That's what she said.

ES: Wow. You don't waste any time. I guess I walked right into that. Anyway, what is the hardest part of managing a regional branch of a modest paper company?

MS: Hardest part? Hmm. It's not that hard [inexplicably long pause]. Ah, forget it. You're hopeless. Anyway, the hardest part might be getting my employees laughing. I mean I'll say something to Phyllis when she's complaining about something like..."You shut your mouth when you're talking to me." Wedding Crashers. And no one laughs. Can you believe that?

ES: Was it a hard decision to let the camera crews into your office to show the world what it's like to run a business on a day-to-day basis?

MS: No, I don't think so. I think if anyone was meant to run an office with all the world watching it was me. I just feel bad for all the other bosses in America that have to live up to my example. I mean look at my desk. You see that mug? They won't just give that to anyone. A show on TV has to have the three E's. It has to be entertaining, engaging and...um...e...eh...en...interesting. I think our office, and me in particular, are all three of those things.

ES: No argument here. Who would you say is your best employee?

MS: Well, Eric it's important to note when answering questions like this a boss can never play favorites. Deciding who is the best employee here at Dunder-Mifflin cannot be reduced to a popularity contest. With that said, it seems to me that everyone likes Jim, so I'm going to have to say that Jim is our best employee.

ES: But Dwight does have a better sales record.

MS: Ya, but nobody likes him. How can you be the best if no one likes you?

ES: A fair point. With all that you give your employees and this company on a daily basis do you find it hard to maintain balance in your personal life?

MS: This is what I don't get. People are always talking about how there needs to be balance between your work life and your personal life. This is what I think: Your work life is personal. There doesn't need to be balance. They need to be interconnected. It's your personal work life. If you take the person and life out of that you're left with "al work" and no one wants all work all the time. All work and no play makes Mikey a very dull boy.

I take my work personally. I have friends in this office. We can be serious when it comes to work and not so serious when it comes to having fun. I-E the sing alongs and games I mentioned earlier. My work life is my personal life, and vice versa.

ES: If you don't mind, I'd like to play a little word association to conclude. I'll say a word or phrase and you say the one word that immediately comes to mind.

We'll start with an easy one: Frosted Flakes.

MS: They'rrrre Grrrrreaaaaattt!

ES: That's two words. Let's try to keep it at one.

MS: Oh ok, I didn't know it was going to be so strict. Um, Tony the Tiger.

ES: Really?

MS: Just move on. That's stupid anyway.

ES: Fine. Fill in the blank. The world needs _______ to survive.

MS: Paper. Oh and friends. And maybe love.

ES: That's three things, but I can at least tell you're trying. Last one. The Office.

MS: Funny.

The truth is an appropriate place conclude.

I insisted that I had everything I needed, but Michael refused. He was certain that I needed more and even offered to show me his old home movies and an office slide show of digital pictures. I told him the visuals were not necessary and after heavy persuasion he finally agreed.

He called Hank and between his hysterical laughter he somehow managed to mutter, more than once, that the "enemy" was ready to be released. I waited for Hank and said my goodbyes and thanked everyone for welcoming into their little world.

As a final note, in case you were curious, all my references checked out, and Pam is even cuter in person.